If anyone read my blog post back in November last year, I talked about the side effects of anorexia - and one more personal to me. I had an operation back in December on my bowel and had to have some of my bowel taken out due to the problem. Weight loss and laxative abuse overtime had caused my muscles to weaken overtime and result in one big prolapse - lovely!!
When I initially went to the doctors to report what I’d initially noticed, they wrote me off because people my age ‘don’t get those types of problems’ (and didn’t actually bother to have a properly check to to the age thing. It might be statistically and more commonly true that older people get these issues but that doesn’t mean no one else can, because I did!!!
The operation was fine it was just the aftermath both mentally and physically recovering. I stayed in Grimsby for 2 + months as that’s where I had the operation and recovered at home. It’s completely natural to loose weight after an operation and that was the case with me. Literally a meer couple of kilos but for someone recovering from an eating disorder, it’s mentally painful to gain this back when there’s still a tiny part of your head convincing you it’s bad to do so. It’s taken me 5 months to do so but I have gained it back which may seem nothing but to keep the eating disorder at bay it was essential as anyone who’s had anorexia will know of you give an inch to ‘that voice’ it will take a mile.
My bowels are working absolutely fine now (as I’m sure everyone would love to know!), so I’ve prettt much recovered from that. However, most recently I’ve noticed the effects of the weakened muscles affect something else down below. I’m 26 for gods sake and still cringe at the word - vagina. There I said it. But if I’m able to write this blog post there’s no getting around it! I had a prolapse around that area which the surgeon hoped would correct itself once the operation as done but it hasn’t and it’s worsened.
So I’m back in Grimsby hospital next month to see what needs to be done. And honest to god I highly doubt nothing other than another operation is going to sort it out - trust me!!
I honestly don’t feel mentally ready to go through something like this again. I’ve just settled back into York again and can’t imagine haven’t to potentially go home for a short while again. Theees literally nothing I can do though. I can’t magically turn back time or pray everything will magically correct itself because it won’t. So sometimes you just have to accept what’s what, and deal with it.
I know this post isn’t glamorous but that’s the whole point - eating disorders aren’t. At the time you never ever imagine any possible long term affects of having had one. So if anyone reading this is struggling with an eating disorder, even people that might have taken the odd laxative or diet pills or are still doing - please please please just take a step back and think. Because our bodies are clever, but over time any persistent damage can result in long term complications. I know it’s not as easy as just simply saying that, but as the saying goes ‘you only get one body, take care of that shit’
