A little visit from family and a lunch date...

On Monday my mum and Simon came up to York to see me and I was excited because I wanted to spend some nice time with them and have a normalish day. Whilst working on these foodie little challenge things I wanted to tie this into their visit. We went to Cafe Nero for Lunch and I decided to have one of my puddings there too. Stupid head was thinking ' I usually have a pudding on Tuesday and a pudding on Saturday so it's all messed up if I have one on Monday instead!. It seems such a petty silly thing (which it is), so I tried to rationalise it and thought if I don't change the days, it's just another stupid irrational rule I'd be listening to, which makes no sense at all, so decided to be flexible and go for it.

We went and I was nervous, even though I knew what I'd be having I still felt uncertain until the food was sat there in front of me. 'What if they don't have what I planned to have' 'What if they get my order wrong", these type of completely random thoughts went through my mind which as guessed didn't happen anyway...and it was all completely fine!!! This is the thing that I'm learning that it's pretty much ALWAYS the anxiety beforehand that puts you off doing different things, when in reality most of the time it's a lot easier actually doing it then you think, which gives you a sense of relief but also a sense of empowerment to know if you don't avoid things due to the 'fear' (when the fear is never really that bad in the end anyway) it allows you to be a little more free and encourages you to try new things more often...

Little snapshot of lunch...I NEED THIS MILLIONAIRES SHORTBREAD AGAIN...LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!
















After lunch we looked around town for a bit and I took my mum and Simon into topshop to get some photos taken in the photobooth which was awkward and funny because we were waiting for ages for them to print out, staff had to come and try and fix the machine by moving the whole bloody thing, then we had to get in it again to take more pictures whilst the staff watched and waited to see if it was working again (proper cringy haha), but it didn't!

We went to the cinema afterwards to see a comedy 'Why Him', which was ace, would definitely recommend it. We went to the Reel Odeon cinema, which feels like you've gone back in time a few years but I love it as it's cute and old fashioned.

Probably sounds a bit silly but the day as a whole was good because I felt the most care-free I have in a while, felt less pre-occupied so could enjoy spending the time with my Mum and Simon by laughing at little things and just being normal. (felt sad when they went as I would like to feel like this everyday...but know it's normal for your mood to fluctuate. You can't stay on a high 24/27 as much as you can't stay on a low 24/7...mood goes up and down which is normal and makes you appreciate days like this even more...All in all it was a good visit!

Chelsea X

365 blank pages and all that jazz

Food, glorious food!

Firstly, I'd like to say thank you for the responses I got from my last blog post, the advice and support has been listened to and taken on board so thank you all :)

I've come to a decision how to push myself a little more. The 2 choices I had in mind was to go full pelt with the "**** it* button; or to plan challenges with food gradually to move out of my comfort zone. As much as I wanted to go with the first option, I knew my anxiety would be too much to cope with this at the minute, so second option it was.

So far so good. I've had 2 days of eating different foods and challenging more. The majority of the time the anxiety is so much worse beforehand than it actually is doing it, which just shows how powerful your mind can be sometimes! And the feeling you get for doing something new is definitely worth it, and helps to move that little bit closer out of the comfort zone. My friend helped me with how to plan different challenges and I've done it through a hierarchy of foods; GREEN: 'safe foods', 'AMBER' a little bit more challenging and 'RED' the biggest fear foods. I'm giving myself a certain amount of times I have different foods in this hierarchy, which helps to gradually push new foods in, adds more variety, as well as making all foods seem 'ok' to eat again, and less scary. (Gosh as I'm writing this I'm realising how boring this sounds, so sorry haha - and thanks if you're still reading!)


I know this may sound not much but for me it feels like a big change at the minute and a change that I'm glad I've made. My mood and motivation is up and down at different points during the day but I know this is expected and just accept how I'm feeling and not let it affect me. Like sometimes I feel like I'm on top of the world and can conquer anything, and there are points in the day where I think what the hell am I doing this is all wrong! So a mixture of different feelings but I know for me right now it's the right thing to do, and the only way to get out of a rut is to do something different. The big 'C' word CHANGE, which always sounds like a good option in your head but when you actually do it, it's easier said then done! But nethertheless I'm going to keep going. I'm trying to do this mainly on my own because I've not really been able to do this before without more support, so would love to get to the end of all this and think 'I bloody did it', so can focus on more important things in life.

I tried this new chocolate bar today with my lunch and I would definitely recommend!

Tomorrow my Mum and Simon are coming to York for a couple of days. We're going out for lunch tomorrow and I'm having my pudding there too which I can't wait for but anxious at the same time. Irrational silly unwanted thoughts can buggar off , thank you very much head :)


Chelsea X